Meet Avi, your meditation guide and healing and transformation companion
When I was barely fourteen I suffered the sudden loss of my mother and home in a mudslide, which was followed by two decades of psychological and emotional abuse. After these decades my body was in constant physical pain, the remnants of all the violent interactions stored in the tissues of my body, waiting to be acknowledged, the emotions felt, and released. I had started my journey of healing right after the mudslide, periodically getting therapy and working through the layers. Though things improved, nothing seemed to get to the root of some of the issues and they would surface in new ways, such as generalized anxiety in my university years. Some pieces were mostly released, like the loss of my mother and home, as they were not constantly being reinforced. Eventually though I reached the end of the road, no longer being able to function in day to day life.
It was then that I realized the full depth of the abuse I had endured, and some of it went all the way back through my childhood. I had never been able to even acknowledge what was going on because I was still in it, and until I got myself far away and safe my body would not show me how trapped I had been both in the situation and in my own mind. I then worked steadily day by day with what I could manage, using tools I already had and learning a variety of new ones, and was increasingly surprised at what I discovered. I searched deep within myself to find the roots of what still held me from my own freedom. I found I was able to heal and release things I had no idea were even possible to understand or reach, including beliefs that solidified in my concept of self in the womb, and trauma inherited from my ancestors.
I was fortunate in having learned yoga practices very early in life, and having practised intermittently since I was a child. The lifetime of experience meditating and familiarity with numerous techniques allowed me to easily set up a daily practice that consisted of physical postures, breathing exercises, and meditation, to which I added new things as I explored further. Practising on my own I was amazed to find that guidance showed up from within to indicate which techniques to practice and how to do them safely. I found too that I ended up approaching the techniques differently than before as my relationship with my body developed, for instance, stretching became for leaning into the tension to release what what stored there.
Healing from deep wounds takes lots of time and diligent effort, and my own journey continues, I have more to heal and understand, and (gladly) lots more to learn. I am now at the point where my physical pain has lessened significantly, I can regulate my nervous system, and have been able to return to living life! I am excited to pass along the things I have learned and support you as you also become your own healer.
I had the honour of being in a short documentary about my healing journey, filmed here on Bute!